Age: The Big Elephant In The Room
“Oh, he’s too old for me.”
So you think so? Maybe that makes your EGO feel good but it does YOU no good. One of the most important aspects of an online dating profile is the age criteria you set for yourself. Be very careful, ladies, because the age range you set up might just be your ticket to great success or dismal failure.
A friend set me up with a 52 year old woman. I’m 68. I know that’s too old for her and I sensed it immediately. We met. Had coffee. Nice time. That was it.
The next day I was playing tennis with a 54 year old opponent. I was kicking his butt all over the court. Then I thought this guy would be perfect for this girl. Very good looking, in excellent shape, in the music industry, and financially stable. So on the court changeover I asked him about his dating situation. He tells me he doesn’t date anyone over 40.
And therein lies the age criteria problem, the divide is bigger than the Grand Canyon.
My setup girl was willing to date older men, but not THAT MUCH older (like me). So let’s say she dates a 56 year old guy. I guarantee you that he will be looking at the rear end of every waitress who brings the food to the table. Is that what she really wants? If she were not be governed by her ego so much she could find a really good guy 62 or 63, very active, in better shape than she, and he’d be looking only at her ALL the time instead of at any waitress. Isn’t THAT what she wants?
To be sure, there are plenty of older men who are really old. There’s no denying that. You just have to find someone active and in good shape. They are out there.
At 52 you still have a lot of romantic attractiveness. Don’t waste it looking for men who are so close to your age. The chance of success is small because men in their mid-fifties are in great demand from younger women. And when you get to be 58 you’ll be saying, “there aren’t any men out there!” And you’ll be right. They will already have been snapped up by the smarter women who grabbed them up in their late forties and early fifties. Whatever attractive juice you have, offer it where it will be appreciated most, to a man who is seven to fourteen years older. Face the fact: it’s either THAT or NOTHING.
I see this all the time with women in their forties. They don’t think they are old enough to be dating men in their 50’s. That’s just ego, plain and simple. Drop the ego, get the man. A woman in her forties can find a really, really good guy in his 50’s if she would go there. Many women do and succeed. Those who don’t, fail. But they still have their ego.
I’m a nationally ranked tennis player and I’m in great shape and look a lot younger. There are a lot of older men who are in great shape from bicycling, running, swimming, etc. Find one. They are out there. A 62 year old guy is not going to be tempted by 42 year old women when he already has a nice 52 year old.
I have six tennis buddies, all in their upper sixties, early seventies and in great shape, very active. They all have long term relationships with women 30-40 years younger (Mexican, Asian, Philippine, Vietnamese, and two American women). Those women don’t seem to mind the age and that’s some of what you ladies are competing against. These are all really good guys with quite a bit of longevity in their future.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to date someone that young. It’s too hard to relate. But women who are in their sixties are too old for me. And you might say, well that’s YOUR ego ruling YOU. Yes, maybe, and probably. But I have options as my tennis buddies prove. You don’t. This is a painful truth. Face it and accept it. Romance is out there for you if you look in the right place. It’s a matter of making yourself available within fertile ground, a place where YOU have the upper hand on the competition.
What’s really laughable is when a 52 year old woman on a dating website says her preferred age is 40 to 52. She might as well just say, “I want sex,” because that’s all she is going to get. (If that’s what you want, then fine.)
A 42 year old guy who responds to the 52 year old profile will have fun 3 or 4 times and then move on. I know, I’ve been there, and men talk about it all the time. It’s common male folklore that the easiest way to find sex is with a Cougar. And, by the way, there are a lot of 40 year old men who are couch potatoes and are totally inactive.
So ladies, if you really want to find a good, lasting, relationship, squash that ego and be open to up your age limit. You want him looking at YOU, focused on YOU, all the time, don’t you?