A Big “Thank You!” To All Social Justice Warriors

If it weren’t for Social Justice Warriors my life would be much worse off. Because of Social Justice Warriors I’ve been able to find and enjoy superior products.

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash
Social Justice Warriors have added great things to my life. Keep at it!

For me it all started with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Their ice cream was really good and I didn’t mind their appeal to the hippie generation with the names of their products. But when they became vocal about their political affiliation, why would you do that, I discovered Talenti ice cream. It tastes much better and I often find it at $3.50 instead of B&J’s $5.50 per container. And instead of the ego driven “Ben & Jerry’s” I now choose the uplifting I (have) talent “Talenti.”

Next came my Progressive auto insurance. You can’t miss the name “progressive” meaning “left wing kook.” But also the owner is a huge SJW and Democrat donor. And is everybody as sick as I am of the not-funny-at-all “Flo” commercials including her idiot male counterpart? So I found Geico. Instead of paying $920 every six months with Progressive I now pay $450 with Geico. And the little Gecko commercials actually are funny.

Then there was Target, a nice clean store with good prices. They made the brilliant SJW policy decision to allow males who “identify” as females to use the female restrooms encouraging perverts and pedophiles to frequent their stores. Sorry. I don’t want to hang with them, and neither do a lot of other people. Have fun Target with your oh-so-inclusive policy. You’ve been replaced by Walmart. They are crowded but their prices are a lot better. SJW’s saving me money time and time again.

What’s all the boycott noise about Chick-fil-A? The owner gave a donation to a candidate who was against legalizing gay marriage. So what? Obama was anti gay marriage at one point. This is America. You have a right to your opinion and a right to make a political donation anywhere you want. I had seen Chick-fil-A’s a lot but never went in to eat until I heard about the boycott. So I had to try it. Thanks to SJW’s I discovered great food, fast service, and diverse employees who even know how to correctly enunciate the English language. Now I’m there once a week and I found out they are closed on Sunday’s because they observe the Sabbath. What’s so bad about that?

Macy’s stopped selling Trump and Ivanka items and put their SJW opinions on display. Bye-Bye Macy’s. Nordstrom’s has higher prices but much better quality and far more current fashion.

I just don’t understand Sonic fast food. If you think two guys conversing like little girls and acting in un-male-like mannerisms is going to bring me into your store, OK, you have a right to that opinion. Knock yourself out.

What’s up with Gillette? They were always the superior brand. They cost more but were worth it. Their blades were excellent and lasted longer than anyone else’s. After years of charging more for ladies shavers (and they still do!) they decide to put out social justice warrior ads that mock traditional male roles. The ads imply that men should modify they’re natural instincts of Provider and Protector. It’s fine for you to express your views but to insinuate that I’m currently inferior I think I’ll find another product source where my natural instincts are appreciated. So I found a CVS disposable razor, their premium brand, called Blade For Men which actually delivers a smooth shave that kills all the Gillette prices and they last almost as long. Thanks Gillette. Have a nice life.

And then there is Nike, what SJW idiots. You took a great brand, good quality, and forced me elsewhere. You’re so rich, you don’t even care. If you started your brand in another country you’d be as big as LaCoste or Fila. But you started in America and, what do you know, you became the biggest! Then you hired anti-American Kaepernick as your SPOKESMAN? Kaepernick was raised by Caucasians, coached by Caucasians, managed by Caucasians, and paid by Caucasians. I think it’s safe to say he’s probably a bit ungrateful, like you Nike. Anyway, Under Armour is a great company that actually manufactures here in America, not overseas. So I have to thank Nike for inviting me over to Under Armour where I now shop for my sports wear.

So keep at it Social Justice Warriors. Without you I’d be awash in expensive, inferior crap! 

Easy And Fast Ways To Purchase Cryptocurrencies … NOT!

Review of Coinbase, Kraken, Poloniex

Cryptocurrency Confusion
Cryptocurrency Confusion

Are you kidding me? There are no easy ways to purchase cryptocurrencies, and especially not fast. Today you decided to buy. Well, fuggedaboutit! It ain’t gonna happen. Don’t believe the headline, “Buy Bitcoin, Litecoin, Etherium in 5 minutes.” Now that’s fake news. Not even close to the reality. Consider yourself lucky if you get it done in a week to 10 days. While people are making millions and billions and trillions you’ll only sit there and stew.

The whole process seems to be much like a MENSA exam. If this then that, but only on Wednesdays in July, when it’s cloudy, after midnight. Only the very highly developed intellects actually make it through the maze into the cryptocurrency trading world. This might be purposeful as markets are easier to manipulate when there are fewer people in them.

It’s a multi-step process. First you have to get a “wallet,” pretty easy actually. Then you have to register with an exchange and get verified. Getting vetted by the FBI is easier, even if you’re a conservative Republican. 

Most exchanges won’t take credit cards or checks. Bank wires seem to be the only way to make a deposit although some exchanges are attempting to take credit cards in a very clunky manner ($400 maximum at Coinbase).

Did I just mention Coinbase? You’ll read everywhere that it’s the “easiest and most popular Exchange.” They have so much business and have so much money flying in all different directions, Customer Service is an ugly stepchild.

A friend of mine wired $6,000 to Coinbase which was promptly lost. After several weeks of Customer Service silence he emailed them with the subject line: “From John Doe, Esq.” Funny, that very same afternoon he received a phone call from the Compliancy Office who told him they would find the money within 10 days. 10 days?! I guess it takes that long to figure out which hole in the ground it was buried in.

Losing bank wires? Anybody ever heard of that within a legitimate operation?

Personally, I couldn’t get the Coinbase software to accept my drivers license in four different versions. I scanned both sides. You can’t get a clearer photo than a scan. One of their suggestions was to use their phone app. What they don’t tell you, until you go through the whole process to the end, is that you need version 10.0 or higher. My phone was version 7.7. So that was a nice waste of time thank you very much.

Next up, Coinbase offered a (lost in the cloud) drop box to leave photos, utility bills, mortgage statements, etc. I did that a week ago. I emailed Customer Service asking politely how long a drop box submission would take to be approved. So far I’ve heard nothing. I’m not holding my breath.

You know that hilarious commercial where an excited dog is screaming into the camera “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!”? Now picture a frustrated human screaming at the computer monitor “C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” That was me trying to get verified at Coinbase. That will be you. And it’s not hilarious.

Then there is Kraken. Good luck trying to crack in. It took me 20 minutes to find an accepted password. I kept getting the error message: do not use “alphanumeric characters.” But the password the software accepted DID accept letters but not numbers. Only MENSA members would have known that.

Then I was transferred to a login page where it asked for my key which they had just emailed me. I copied and pasted this very long key and … “C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” … lo and behold, I got the error message: invalid key. What a thrilling half hour I spent with Kraken accomplishing nothing.

So I moved on to Poloniex. The first thing that greets you at Poloniex is the following message: “Due to several major exchanges closing their doors to new registrants, we are experiencing a surge in new sign-ups. In some cases, profile verifications may take up to several weeks.”

Oh great, “several major exchanges closing their doors” is just what I want to hear before I register. Surprisingly, the sign-up actually went pretty flawlessly in about 10 minutes. I received a very optimistic message that said, “Most verifications are completed within a few minutes, but some can take up to a few days.” Maybe MENSA can offer a definition of “a few days.” So far I’ve waited “a few minutes” and nothing has happened yet. And now it’s been five days and still nothing, not a peep.

Poloniex strongly suggests that you set up “Two Factor Authentication.” Whether or not this is a factor in getting verified is clearly unclear. Anyway, 2FA as it’s called, means that you have to set it up on your phone in a five step (MENSA) process so that you, as the user, can verify activities with your password and a passcode sent to your phone. It’s a 007 thing. Get Smart and use the phone on the heel of your shoe for 3FA. Better check the version before you start out.

So here were just three of the most widely used “exchanges” to purchase cryptocurrencies. Not so easy and not so fast. I began this odyssey ten days ago and I’m still not at my destination. If getting frozen or looped upon ever-present software glitches and being ignored by support is your thing, you’ll have a blast registering with a cryptocurrency exchange, any exchange, pick one, it doesn’t matter.

And don’t forget, when you’re all done with wallets, verifications, deposits, and authentications, you’ll have the pleasure of buying any cryptocurrency you’d like, all the while paying sky high commissions. Now, all these companies will tell you that security in the cryptocurrency market is of upmost importance so it costs a lot (i.e. fees), and so any small inconveniences getting verified is for your own protection. Well, I say, “Thank you sir. May I have another.”