A Big “Thank You!” To All Social Justice Warriors

If it weren’t for Social Justice Warriors my life would be much worse off. Because of Social Justice Warriors I’ve been able to find and enjoy superior products.

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash
Social Justice Warriors have added great things to my life. Keep at it!

For me it all started with Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Their ice cream was really good and I didn’t mind their appeal to the hippie generation with the names of their products. But when they became vocal about their political affiliation, why would you do that, I discovered Talenti ice cream. It tastes much better and I often find it at $3.50 instead of B&J’s $5.50 per container. And instead of the ego driven “Ben & Jerry’s” I now choose the uplifting I (have) talent “Talenti.”

Next came my Progressive auto insurance. You can’t miss the name “progressive” meaning “left wing kook.” But also the owner is a huge SJW and Democrat donor. And is everybody as sick as I am of the not-funny-at-all “Flo” commercials including her idiot male counterpart? So I found Geico. Instead of paying $920 every six months with Progressive I now pay $450 with Geico. And the little Gecko commercials actually are funny.

Then there was Target, a nice clean store with good prices. They made the brilliant SJW policy decision to allow males who “identify” as females to use the female restrooms encouraging perverts and pedophiles to frequent their stores. Sorry. I don’t want to hang with them, and neither do a lot of other people. Have fun Target with your oh-so-inclusive policy. You’ve been replaced by Walmart. They are crowded but their prices are a lot better. SJW’s saving me money time and time again.

What’s all the boycott noise about Chick-fil-A? The owner gave a donation to a candidate who was against legalizing gay marriage. So what? Obama was anti gay marriage at one point. This is America. You have a right to your opinion and a right to make a political donation anywhere you want. I had seen Chick-fil-A’s a lot but never went in to eat until I heard about the boycott. So I had to try it. Thanks to SJW’s I discovered great food, fast service, and diverse employees who even know how to correctly enunciate the English language. Now I’m there once a week and I found out they are closed on Sunday’s because they observe the Sabbath. What’s so bad about that?

Macy’s stopped selling Trump and Ivanka items and put their SJW opinions on display. Bye-Bye Macy’s. Nordstrom’s has higher prices but much better quality and far more current fashion.

I just don’t understand Sonic fast food. If you think two guys conversing like little girls and acting in un-male-like mannerisms is going to bring me into your store, OK, you have a right to that opinion. Knock yourself out.

What’s up with Gillette? They were always the superior brand. They cost more but were worth it. Their blades were excellent and lasted longer than anyone else’s. After years of charging more for ladies shavers (and they still do!) they decide to put out social justice warrior ads that mock traditional male roles. The ads imply that men should modify they’re natural instincts of Provider and Protector. It’s fine for you to express your views but to insinuate that I’m currently inferior I think I’ll find another product source where my natural instincts are appreciated. So I found a CVS disposable razor, their premium brand, called Blade For Men which actually delivers a smooth shave that kills all the Gillette prices and they last almost as long. Thanks Gillette. Have a nice life.

And then there is Nike, what SJW idiots. You took a great brand, good quality, and forced me elsewhere. You’re so rich, you don’t even care. If you started your brand in another country you’d be as big as LaCoste or Fila. But you started in America and, what do you know, you became the biggest! Then you hired anti-American Kaepernick as your SPOKESMAN? Kaepernick was raised by Caucasians, coached by Caucasians, managed by Caucasians, and paid by Caucasians. I think it’s safe to say he’s probably a bit ungrateful, like you Nike. Anyway, Under Armour is a great company that actually manufactures here in America, not overseas. So I have to thank Nike for inviting me over to Under Armour where I now shop for my sports wear.

So keep at it Social Justice Warriors. Without you I’d be awash in expensive, inferior crap! 

3 Places To Meet Men Where The Ratio Is Way In Your Favor

Inexpensive ways to meet upscale men where few females are found.

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It’s raining men, if you know where to go. Now, in all of the following three cases it’s up to you to figure out who the single men are, but with a little intelligence you should quickly be able to discern the “players” from the “available” ones. First, obviously, check ring fingers. Those with rings, reject, give them the back of your head. I’m sure you can figure out the rest. So, here’s where to go,

# 1: A Golf Driving Range

Every 12 minutes a foursome of men go out and play a round of golf. Each of those four men arrive early to hit a bucket of balls to warm up at the driving range and to loosen up. So every 12 minutes a new group of guys will come to where you are “struggling” to hit the ball. 

Guys love to help a damsel in distress and provide assistance. So borrow a golf club from your father or brother, put on a cute golf outfit on sale at a local golf shop or Marshalls, buy a $6 bucket of balls, and hang out for an hour or so. Do it once a week every week for six weeks. Same day, same time. I once was interested in someone and was pressured to leave for the tee-time by my buddies before I could make an approach. I went back every week for a month to see if that girl would show up again. She didn’t. 

I always notice a female, any female, when I’m at the driving range. It’s easy to strike up a conversation there with no loud music or other distracting females. Also, you’re not “stuck” with a guy you’re not interested in because he only has 15 minutes to warm up and get on the golf course for his scheduled tee-time. He’ll make his move, get your phone or email (or not), or maybe meet you the next day at the driving range for more pointers and maybe lunch. When he leaves four more guys will show up continuously after him every 12 minutes. So, take your pick! 

There are also many guys who show up at the driving range not to warm-up before a tee-time but just to practice their stroke. He will spend 20-40 minutes doing that. Most golf driving ranges have 10-20 “slots” to accommodate not only those warming up for tee-times but for those who just have an hour or so to hit some balls. More men for you. 

Odds are that most married guys will leave you alone. The single guys will definitely see you. Don’t wear anything on your ring finger! But even the married guys can be a resource for you. It’s perfectly alright, especially in a man’s world, to get right to the point. If a married guy (wearing a ring) is being overly helpful simply ask him, “do you have any single guy friends who could help me with my golf game?” He’ll get the point (to leave you alone) and he might actually have a guy friend who you might like to meet for 20 minutes at the driving range.

It costs a lot to play a round of golf so the men who have it as a hobby usually have the money (and time) to play it. Translation: these men are probably intelligent, successful, and wealthy. Even those guys who play municipal golf courses are probably more upscale than your average bear. 

A municipal golf driving range is OK to park yourself. But a better place would be a “semi-private” golf driving range. There are often clubs within a 30 minute driving distance from where you live that are more expensive and “private.” They also give the public “limited access” to their course in order to raise additional funds and because of this they usually give the public unlimited access to the driving range. These more expensive locations attract more married guys but also wealthier guys. And since the driving range is open to the public there will be plenty of single guys coming out who will notice you. 

Also, almost all driving ranges open to the public also have practice putting greens! So if you are nervous about not being able to hit the ball on the range, get a putter (Pro Shop staff will usually lend you one for free, especially to a pretty girl) and three practice balls, and just putt around! The fish will take the bait!

And now,

#2 Local Tennis Competitions

Tennis is also a hobby that attracts upscale, successful men, not to mention men who are in fabulous shape. You can’t play competitive tennis and be in poor shape. Most big cities all over the country have tournaments where competitors play each other and gain “rankings” on an annual basis. 

The tournaments are age denominated. So using South Florida as an example, they have a “circuit” of four tournaments once each month in the 55 and over, 60 and over, and every five years older up to 90 and over! You can easily get through the guard gate at exclusive clubs like the Polo Club, Broken Sound, etc., just by saying you are there to watch the tennis tournament. 

Admission is free. Wear casual clothing. There will be 60 guys there and only about 5 women. Just buy yourself a Coke or a coffee and sit and watch. Matches turn over about every 90 minutes. You’ll have guys coming off the courts and going on the courts for matches continuously. 

There are a lot of single competitors. The married guys will probably leave you alone. The single guys will pounce. Same thing as in golf though, within a short period of time they will have to leave you because their match is called to play, and the ones who just came off the court will spend only a short period of time finding out who you are because they’ll be sweaty and want to get into a shower. Again, it’s a quiet environment to have a reasonable conversation. Bring a girlfriend if you feel a little too obvious.

For younger women the age groups start at 25 and over and go, again, every five years. All this can be easily figured out by going to the United States Tennis Association (USTA) website https://tennislink.usta.com/Tournaments/Common/Default.aspx and searching for men’s tournament in your city. If you are a 28 year old women you can search M30s, M35s, M40s, etc. This signifies “Men’s 30 and over Singles.” etc. M45d means 45 and over doubles. Most tournaments have singles and doubles. Some tournaments have all ages. Some just go Men’s Open thru M50, others go M55 and up. 

If you spot a guy that’s particularly attractive to you who is playing on, say, court #5 (all courts are marked), go up to the tournament desk and ask who’s playing on that court. They will give you the two names. Ask what age group. Then go to the tournament draw that’s always posted somewhere and look in that age group and see where he’s listed. The draw sheet will tell you the city he lives in. That’s an easy way to strike up a conversation when he comes off the court. Or do the reverse: look at the draw sheet to see if any guys live in your town (or close to you), get his name and ask the tournament desk if he’s playing now and if not, when he plays next.

When you find a tournament to go to you should definitely go the first day or two because that’s when the greatest number of players are around. As the tournament advances there are fewer and fewer players competing. Remember, you’re not looking necessarily to meet a champion. You’re looking to meet a good, upscale man to spend the rest of your life with. 

And don’t be timid if you’ve never played tennis before. I guarantee you, no one will care. Just say you want the fresh air and sunshine and love to watch the ball go back and forth. 

One last thing, since it’s competitive tennis, loud voices can be a distraction to players. You don’t have to talk in a whisper but be conscious of how loud your voice is carrying. 

And finally,

#3 PGA Golf Tournaments

Tune into the weekly golf tournament on TV. When a player is about to hit a ball put the TV on pause. Look past the player and look at the crowd. You’ll see 8 men for every woman and almost all of those women will be with a man. Rarely do you see two or three women together but you do see men all over the place. 

Go alone, or go with a friend. Tickets are not expensive, but be prepared to walk so wear comfortable shoes. Food and drink are, of course, available. You’ll be getting attention all day long. The tournaments run Thursday through Sunday and all day long. Go every day if you like but the best day to go is Friday. The Thursday crowd is small. Friday the crowd is larger and the men who show up have the ability to take off work to watch. That says something about their social stature. Saturday and Sunday are good but the crowds are enormous. Unfortunately the men’s professional golf tour will only come to your city once a year, so don’t miss it!

Best just to plant yourself in one location for an hour and let the men stream past. Then move to another location each hour you are there. Some guys follow particular players, some don’t, and some just hang out in the beer tent. If you stay in one spot, eventually, they will all pass you by, and if they notice you they will go back to that spot to find you. 

If you really want to hit it big, hang out as close to where the players enter for hole number one, or where they exit at hole number 18. That’s where their “camp” of trainers, publicists, managers, etc., will be hanging out. Get a date with one of them and you’ll have an amazingly interesting time! Forget the players. They have more women than they can handle.

Golf and Tennis are where it’s at. Baseball, Football, Basketball, and other sports don’t attract the same clientele you would prefer and also it’s loud and the men are so into the games that they will hardly notice you or just leer at you.

So, it would be nice, for once, to be the “center” of male attention, where the odds are stacked way in your favor. You’ve done some pretty crazy things in your life to get men interested in you. Are these three things so crazy? They are inexpensive, bold, and brilliant. All are in outside, daytime, natural settings. What could be so bad? Go for it!

Now, if only someone would write an article telling me 3 places to meet women where the ratio is in my favor!!!

12 Democrat Commandments

The 12 Commandments of the Democrat Party

Democrat Party Commandments
12 Commandments of the Democrat Party

  1. Thou shall have only ONE God, Globalism. Religious practice is anathema.
  2. Thou shall worship IDOLS, but only in politicians, media, and entertainment.
  3. Thou shall lie, cheat, and steal, but only for the PURPOSE of furthering and/or supporting the one God.
  4. All those objecting to the one God shall be SMEARED unmercifully with allegations of crimes both exaggerated and imagined.
  5. Thou shall ENCOURAGE and CELEBRATE diversity in race, gender, class, culture, and lifestyle, but NEVER accept ANY diversity of thought or ideas.
  6. Thou shall REPLACE the Sabbath Day with drugs daily.
  7. Thou shall deny any living fetus ENTRANCE into the world for any reason or whim.
  8. Thou shall never carry a gun, EVER, neither in self defense nor war.
  9. Thou shall not commit adultery nor act lustfully UNLESS you are a politician, in the media, or in entertainment and only those in said professions shall be immediately forgiven without punishment.
  10. Thou shall allow all foreigners to ENTER your lands without any delays or investigations.
  11. Thou shall ABOLISH all prisons and allow all criminals to roam freely within your communities.
  12. Thou shall LOWER ALL STANTARDS and supply free things to black and brown people because they are incapable in so many ways, and by doing so they will be beholden into voting for Globalists.

“No” NIKE Easy Iron-On Patch

Are you opposed to those kneeling for our National Anthem?

Nike has every right to make Colin Kaepernick the face of it’s 30th Anniversary ad campaign.

You have every right to iron on a “no” patch over the swoosh on your Nike sportswear.

Don’t throw it out or stop wearing it. Make a quiet statement of your own instead.

It takes just 2 minutes to iron-on this “no” patch over the NIKE swoosh to tell the world what you think of Colin Kaepernick and Nike.

NoNikePatch.com

How To Get Your Dream Job

Just 6 Words Added To Your Resume Will Do It

Resume Tips

You’re a millennial, young, smart, accomplished, and you’ve applied for your dream first job. Human Resources has whittled many applicants down to just three. The HR Manager and your future Manager are looking over the finalists. All three interviewed well: equal, equal, equal. All are perfect for the job in every way. It’s decision time, something that occurs every day across the country.

Noticing something at the bottom of your resume the HR Manager takes a yellow highlighter pen and runs it over six words. Under section “Other” it says:

“No tattoos, no piercings, no attitude.”

Silently, HR passes the yellow highlighted section over to your future Manager who says, “Let’s hire this one.”

They can’t ask! But you CAN offer.

These six words inform potential employers, “I’m not swayed by passing fancies, I make good decisions in the moment with an eye toward the future, and I can easily adapt to the existing workplace culture.”

What better way to get over on equally qualified candidates and land that first dream job!

Here’s another one, but be a little careful with it as it could, unfortunately, backfire. (For your sake that might not be a bad thing.)

“Attend religious services weekly.”

Again, They can’t ask! But you CAN offer.

These four words inform potential employers, “I’m disciplined, and I respect and honor traditional values.”

What employer couldn’t relate to that?

Obviously this would work great at a company like Chick-fil-A, but if you’re due diligence finds some nugget of religious observance by company employees, especially upper management, definitely add it on.

It’s too bad that in a new age where resumes are supposed to tell who you are, they actually don’t. Legal restrictions on age, race, gender, etc. keep potential employers from asking exactly what they want to know about you. They are not permitted to ask simple, common sense questions lest they be considered some violation of Federal statutes.  It’s time to fight back against an ever-increasing Politically Correct world.

So make their job easier. They can’t ask. But you CAN offer!

The Best Age Criteria For Female Dating Success

Age: The Big Elephant In The Room

“Oh, he’s too old for me.”

So you think so? Maybe that makes your EGO feel good but it does YOU no good. One of the most important aspects of an online dating profile is the age criteria you set for yourself. Be very careful, ladies, because the age range you set up might just be your ticket to great success or dismal failure.

A friend set me up with a 52 year old woman. I’m 68. I know that’s too old for her and I sensed it immediately. We met. Had coffee. Nice time. That was it. 

The next day I was playing tennis with a 54 year old opponent. I was kicking his butt all over the court. Then I thought this guy would be perfect for this girl. Very good looking, in excellent shape, in the music industry, and financially stable. So on the court changeover I asked him about his dating situation. He tells me he doesn’t date anyone over 40. 

And therein lies the age criteria problem, the divide is bigger than the Grand Canyon.

My setup girl was willing to date older men, but not THAT MUCH older (like me). So let’s say she dates a 56 year old guy. I guarantee you that he will be looking at the rear end of every waitress who brings the food to the table. Is that what she really wants? If she were not be governed by her ego so much she could find a really good guy 62 or 63, very active, in better shape than she, and he’d be looking only at her ALL the time instead of at any waitress. Isn’t THAT what she wants? 

To be sure, there are plenty of older men who are really old. There’s no denying that. You just have to find someone active and in good shape. They are out there.

At 52 you still have a lot of romantic attractiveness. Don’t waste it looking for men who are so close to your age. The chance of success is small because men in their mid-fifties are in great demand from younger women. And when you get to be 58 you’ll be saying, “there aren’t any men out there!” And you’ll be right. They will already have been snapped up by the smarter women who grabbed them up in their late forties and early fifties. Whatever attractive juice you have, offer it where it will be appreciated most, to a man who is seven to fourteen years older. Face the fact: it’s either THAT or NOTHING.

I see this all the time with women in their forties. They don’t think they are old enough to be dating men in their 50’s. That’s just ego, plain and simple. Drop the ego, get the man. A woman in her forties can find a really, really good guy in his 50’s if she would go there. Many women do and succeed. Those who don’t, fail. But they still have their ego.

I’m a nationally ranked tennis player and I’m in great shape and look a lot younger. There are a lot of older men who are in great shape from bicycling, running, swimming, etc. Find one. They are out there. A 62 year old guy is not going to be tempted by 42 year old women when he already has a nice 52 year old.

I have six tennis buddies, all in their upper sixties, early seventies and in great shape, very active. They all have long term relationships with women 30-40 years younger (Mexican, Asian, Philippine, Vietnamese, and two American women). Those women don’t seem to mind the age and that’s some of what you ladies are competing against. These are all really good guys with quite a bit of longevity in their future.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to date someone that young. It’s too hard to relate. But women who are in their sixties are too old for me. And you might say, well that’s YOUR ego ruling YOU. Yes, maybe, and probably. But I have options as my tennis buddies prove. You don’t. This is a painful truth. Face it and accept it. Romance is out there for you if you look in the right place. It’s a matter of making yourself available within fertile ground, a place where YOU have the upper hand on the competition.

What’s really laughable is when a 52 year old woman on a dating website says her preferred age is 40 to 52. She might as well just say, “I want sex,” because that’s all she is going to get. (If that’s what you want, then fine.) 

A 42 year old guy who responds to the 52 year old profile will have fun 3 or 4 times and then move on. I know, I’ve been there, and men talk about it all the time. It’s common male folklore that the easiest way to find sex is with a Cougar. And, by the way, there are a lot of 40 year old men who are couch potatoes and are totally inactive.

So ladies, if you really want to find a good, lasting, relationship, squash that ego and be open to up your age limit. You want him looking at YOU, focused on YOU, all the time, don’t you?

BLM (Bastard Lives Matter)

Merriam-Webster definition of “bastard”:

1:  An illegitimate child, born of parents not married to each other.

2.  Something that is spurious, irregular, inferior.

3 .  An offensive or disagreeable person.

Judeo-Christian beliefs would say that even Bastard Lives Matter (BLM) because life, in all it’s human forms, is precious. 

1300 years ago when the term was first used, a bastard was not considered a good thing, generally, for the society at large. Both the mother and the child were shunned because, more often then not, bastards were trouble in one way or another (spurious, irregular, inferior, offensive, disagreeable).

Today it’s a different story. It’s only been in the last 50 years, since the days of the 60’s “free love” period and Democrat President Lyndon Johnson’s “Great Society,” that bastards have attained “legitimacy” and normalcy.  Now, not only are unwed mothers-to-be not shamed but also they are celebrated. Baby showers for bastards are the norm from inner city ghettos to fabulously rich enclaves. Formerly edited out of public discourse, the word “bastard” is no longer a “bad” word and can be heard within all forms of media.

Prior to this current relaxed era, when a woman got pregnant without being married she would go off to an “unwed mother’s home” as soon as the baby bump appeared in order to avoid the “shame.” She would give birth and have the baby adopted into a married couple’s family where the child would have the benefit of a stable, mother and father, environment.

Fathers are important!

So, now it’s reasonable to ask, is the progressive experiment of the last 50 years to normalize and even celebrate the coming of more bastards into the world an improvement over the great wisdom handed down over the previous 1300 years? Just look around and the answer is pretty obvious. 

What percentage of those in jail are bastards? What percentage of addicts, prostitutes, and those who never finished High School are bastards? Groups like the Black Panthers, Occupy Wall Street, Black Lives Matter, I wonder what percentage of members of those groups are bastards? Think of the dregs of society: unemployed, violent, mentally unstable, and wonder what percentage are bastards? My guess is it’s unthinkably high in all cases. They are ungrateful and disruptive. Is this a good thing for our communities? 

Maybe we, as a society, should demand more. Bringing a bastard into the world might seem just fine to a lot of selfish people. But the innocent child is being deliberately brought into the world without a full deck of cards, with a much greater chance of failure rather than success. Isn’t this the ultimate child abuse, or perhaps pre-birth abuse? 

And those who say that a baby who is born with a legitimate married father who happens to die prior to the baby being born is exactly the same as a bastard, are wrong. One baby has the psychological confidence of a non-existent father who tragically died, and the bastard has the psychological certainty that their non-existent father never cared. 

Now it is possible that even bastards can grow up to be fully functional, tax paying,  members of society.  Democrat Presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were both bastards. And we know how honorable both of those men were…not! But the chances of that are astronomically thin. 

We hear Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter, and All Lives Matter. Well, Bastard Lives Matter (BLM) too. And rightly so. The real question is: how much BLM can a society comfortably accommodate?

Easy And Fast Ways To Purchase Cryptocurrencies … NOT!

Review of Coinbase, Kraken, Poloniex

Cryptocurrency Confusion
Cryptocurrency Confusion

Are you kidding me? There are no easy ways to purchase cryptocurrencies, and especially not fast. Today you decided to buy. Well, fuggedaboutit! It ain’t gonna happen. Don’t believe the headline, “Buy Bitcoin, Litecoin, Etherium in 5 minutes.” Now that’s fake news. Not even close to the reality. Consider yourself lucky if you get it done in a week to 10 days. While people are making millions and billions and trillions you’ll only sit there and stew.

The whole process seems to be much like a MENSA exam. If this then that, but only on Wednesdays in July, when it’s cloudy, after midnight. Only the very highly developed intellects actually make it through the maze into the cryptocurrency trading world. This might be purposeful as markets are easier to manipulate when there are fewer people in them.

It’s a multi-step process. First you have to get a “wallet,” pretty easy actually. Then you have to register with an exchange and get verified. Getting vetted by the FBI is easier, even if you’re a conservative Republican. 

Most exchanges won’t take credit cards or checks. Bank wires seem to be the only way to make a deposit although some exchanges are attempting to take credit cards in a very clunky manner ($400 maximum at Coinbase).

Did I just mention Coinbase? You’ll read everywhere that it’s the “easiest and most popular Exchange.” They have so much business and have so much money flying in all different directions, Customer Service is an ugly stepchild.

A friend of mine wired $6,000 to Coinbase which was promptly lost. After several weeks of Customer Service silence he emailed them with the subject line: “From John Doe, Esq.” Funny, that very same afternoon he received a phone call from the Compliancy Office who told him they would find the money within 10 days. 10 days?! I guess it takes that long to figure out which hole in the ground it was buried in.

Losing bank wires? Anybody ever heard of that within a legitimate operation?

Personally, I couldn’t get the Coinbase software to accept my drivers license in four different versions. I scanned both sides. You can’t get a clearer photo than a scan. One of their suggestions was to use their phone app. What they don’t tell you, until you go through the whole process to the end, is that you need version 10.0 or higher. My phone was version 7.7. So that was a nice waste of time thank you very much.

Next up, Coinbase offered a (lost in the cloud) drop box to leave photos, utility bills, mortgage statements, etc. I did that a week ago. I emailed Customer Service asking politely how long a drop box submission would take to be approved. So far I’ve heard nothing. I’m not holding my breath.

You know that hilarious commercial where an excited dog is screaming into the camera “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!”? Now picture a frustrated human screaming at the computer monitor “C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” That was me trying to get verified at Coinbase. That will be you. And it’s not hilarious.

Then there is Kraken. Good luck trying to crack in. It took me 20 minutes to find an accepted password. I kept getting the error message: do not use “alphanumeric characters.” But the password the software accepted DID accept letters but not numbers. Only MENSA members would have known that.

Then I was transferred to a login page where it asked for my key which they had just emailed me. I copied and pasted this very long key and … “C’mon! C’mon! C’mon!” … lo and behold, I got the error message: invalid key. What a thrilling half hour I spent with Kraken accomplishing nothing.

So I moved on to Poloniex. The first thing that greets you at Poloniex is the following message: “Due to several major exchanges closing their doors to new registrants, we are experiencing a surge in new sign-ups. In some cases, profile verifications may take up to several weeks.”

Oh great, “several major exchanges closing their doors” is just what I want to hear before I register. Surprisingly, the sign-up actually went pretty flawlessly in about 10 minutes. I received a very optimistic message that said, “Most verifications are completed within a few minutes, but some can take up to a few days.” Maybe MENSA can offer a definition of “a few days.” So far I’ve waited “a few minutes” and nothing has happened yet. And now it’s been five days and still nothing, not a peep.

Poloniex strongly suggests that you set up “Two Factor Authentication.” Whether or not this is a factor in getting verified is clearly unclear. Anyway, 2FA as it’s called, means that you have to set it up on your phone in a five step (MENSA) process so that you, as the user, can verify activities with your password and a passcode sent to your phone. It’s a 007 thing. Get Smart and use the phone on the heel of your shoe for 3FA. Better check the version before you start out.

So here were just three of the most widely used “exchanges” to purchase cryptocurrencies. Not so easy and not so fast. I began this odyssey ten days ago and I’m still not at my destination. If getting frozen or looped upon ever-present software glitches and being ignored by support is your thing, you’ll have a blast registering with a cryptocurrency exchange, any exchange, pick one, it doesn’t matter.

And don’t forget, when you’re all done with wallets, verifications, deposits, and authentications, you’ll have the pleasure of buying any cryptocurrency you’d like, all the while paying sky high commissions. Now, all these companies will tell you that security in the cryptocurrency market is of upmost importance so it costs a lot (i.e. fees), and so any small inconveniences getting verified is for your own protection. Well, I say, “Thank you sir. May I have another.”